I just spent the last six or seven months trying to keep up with a
Bible reading plan that was supposed to get me through the Bible in a
year. It presented about three or four chapters a day, divided between
the old and new testaments. I was doing well at first, getting behind
maybe one day but reading ahead on another. Then after a while I was
falling behind one then two then eight days. Not only that, but I
found I was not reading for pleasure or learning or communing with
God... Rather, I was going through to get the chapter checked off my
list. I was doing a duty. I was doing religion. And I was feeling
guilty for my failure to devote like I "should" to God.
No more. This morning after reluctantly staring at my Bible for a few
minutes with depressed dread, and then picking it up and turning at
first to my reading plan, I started reading where I had last left off
in the plan, midway through Ecclesiastes. Thinking I would "try" to
get another couple of chapters in the plan checked off... If God would
give me strength to endure them.
...Well, I finished the prescribed chapter, and something clicked
inside me. Like a rebel without a cause, I suddenly threw prudence to
the wind. With a devil-may-care wanton abandon of my soul and against
all legalistic caution.... Instead of going back to the plan for the
next assignment, I continued on to the next chapter in Ecclesiastes.
Then the next, and the next... And suddenly I finished the book. And
then (shock of shocks and horror of horrors) I went on to read through
and finish Song of Solomon as well!
It felt like I was home again.
God is God... Get used to it.